im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
