Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
