planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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