you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
