we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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