Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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