i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
your like the ambassador to my penis.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
