She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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