You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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