He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
