WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
