Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
