After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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