Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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