why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
