sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
