the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
