i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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