How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
