He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
