weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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