The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
