I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
