Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
