she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
There r osticjed everywhere
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
