i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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