You work out of a Hotel?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
