I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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