wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
