ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
well you can't waste a boner
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
