He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
