my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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