So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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