you would pick up someone in the library
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
