I swear she didn't look like that last week.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
