Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
