Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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