I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my being single is dangerous.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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