one might say we're banned from that church
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
