i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
