First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
