Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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