Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
