can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
