we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
