i just wanna soil my oats bro
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I can't turn off my feet"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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