I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
