Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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