I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
