what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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