somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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